"Blue"
One and Two and Three and CRACK!
You can't go! Come back!! Come back!!!
Lungs inflate. Your chest falls.
Are you still somewhere
Within these four walls?
Your rhythm shows you could be here.
Two hundred joules...Charging...CLEAR!
Heart reset. Where's the beat?
I look at doc. He nods at me.
CRACK again. I'm sorry, dear.
I know you know that's my job here.
That's got to hurt. I feel for you.
Either come back quick,
Or let us know we're through.
Where are you now? I want to know.
Are you watching us? Or did you go?
I see your eyes, fixed and glazed.
But we continue, anyways.
When you left, you didn't tell us so.
Inform the doc, so we can let you go.
Three sixty joules...
Charging...CLEAR!
I almost hope that you're not here.
I know that burns. And your ribs, they ache.
Is that rhythm real? Or, just a fake?
Do you feel the nurse touch your thigh?
You must decide. DO or DIE!
"No pulse, " she yells. The doctor nods.
I pump again against the odds.
Did you understand this is what we would do?
I just keep thinking, "Where are you?"
Did you notice me? I don't think so.
If I were you, I would just let go.
I hear the word "Time" and glance up at doc.
He solemnly nods and pulls off his smock.
I am so sorry. We did our best.
I guess the Lord thought you needed to rest.
Doc gets a strip and walks away.
Did you even know that today was your day?
My job is not over.
I've got cleaning to do.
Now in the room,
Its just me and you.
Family is coming.
You'll look your best.
You just relax.
I'll do the rest.
Yet, still I wonder,
"When did you go?"
The answer to that,
I'll never know.
~Andrea Michelle
March 31, 2001
*In memory of...
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